.. and I am nervous, scared, uptight and, well, uptight.
I want to love it at our vacation home like I once did, but there is something that taints the feeling.
My H, he is all over me, loving me, telling me how beautiful I am.
I have a sister; she is serious, drop dead gorgeous. She ALWAYS has been. She is the woman who makes hardly an effort makeup wise, has worked out every single day since high school, blonde, boobs, tiny waist, nice rear and the works. (Yes, friends, she has children.) Mostly she has a heart of gold.This sister, she is the only person in this world that I can reveal a deep, dark, secret to and I will know for a fact she will NOT reveal it, EVER.
BTW- I will repeat: YES, she has children.
She turns heads everywhere she goes. ALWAYS. We all know that beautiful women are often hated on by other women. We will make excuses for he (striking woman) to be hated. For instance, I will name all the surgeries, fillers and so forth “she” must have had in order to be so striking. Surely, she hasn’t come by “it” naturally.
All throughout high school, my sister was immediately hated by the other girls because they assumed she was “stuck-up” as was said in my day. When I dated guys, they would ask “you’re HER sister, really?”
Anyway, remember the wedding I spoke of earlier? My H tonight, and last night, the night before and the night before said to me: “YOU, You are the beautiful one, it’s you, at the wedding….. Oh, my— you were stunning. You Looked way better than ……. your sisters, waaaaay. YOU looked soooo hot.
I’m not mentioning this to brag, or, whatever you might be thinking. I share this because as of late, this is how my H has been treating me. Telling me me what a wonder I am, beautiful, in shape, just.so.hot.
As my H says. OH.MY.
Tonight, he spoke of how much I’ve been working out, how he feels the need to catch up with me. He claims, “you’ve always been hot, I married you for your ass, but, when you work-out, your attitude changes, it shows in your self-esteem.”
We’ve read that right? Working out improves the mood. It’s true; I’ve been feeling great emotionally and physically since hitting the gym.
Yet, for some reason, because I no longer trust him, I am assuming he is feeding me lines so that he can slip away with one of the girls.
I so wish he would spill the truth, that way he would understand the reasons, many reasons, why I wonder every time he leaves my presence be it work or the house, I wonder ….. is he leaving to text, meet or have wild sex with whoever the flavor is this timee
I wish I could turn my brain off. Most of me think at this time it is him and me only. He is remorseful, wants only me, only me.
Then again, In the back of my mind, that small percent, I think he is trying to throw me off track.
My entire point of this point….. I am scared S**tless that he is planning a rendezvous with his skanky lover named Sleeza or his larger lover named Whorie.
Be well my friends,