Life and Marriage- Do I stay or Do I leave/

I said I was and I did…

stay behind.

He awoke Sunday morning to find me on the couch. As he sleepily stumbled out from the bed, in search of coffee he asked half confused what I was doing on the couch.

I did NOT make the quiet, calm and in control speech that I had planned and rehearsed for five hours, beginning at 12:30 am.

Saturday, the day before I could feel the tension building (in him) he was beginning to pace around the house a bit, looking out the window from the back of our home. If you get the right window, the right view, you can see the home of the woman I’ve accused him of cheating with, oh yeah sorry, and her husband.

It’s the strangest thing, I could hear him thinking, trying to talk himself out of it, trying to convince himself to stay home. By now I know the schedule of this newly married couple and her husband was due to leave in just about twenty minutes or so. It was 2:18pm. Yes, of course, I remember.

I was pretending to re-arrange dishes in the cabinet as I watched him. He peeked to the back of the house, again. Stood. Stared, looking nowhere with his back to the floor to ceiling window. Took a deep breath and went downstairs.

I’ve mentioned before that this house has three floors not including the basement. He could easily leave the house and I would not know. Hell, I could easily leave the house and he would not know. And I did, to check to be sure her husband was or wasn’t there.

He was the first time and by the time I noticed H missing, he was not.

My H returned about 45 minutes later, smiling. Happy.

I said NOTHING. I pretended to not even noticed he was gone.

I would think any meetup between my H and her is purely sexual. I think they get a kick out of each other, each blowing up the other’s ego.

So, the next morning when my H came stumbling out of the bedroom, after him asking what was wrong, after four hours of rehearsing and mentally rewriting my speech to my H, one that made me sound resolute and in control, I yelled:” I’m not going home with you.”

“What?!”

“I am NOT leaving, I am not coming home with you. I need space, time to myself, I’m tired of your lies, you are sneaking around. I am NOT leaving. I will have one of the girls pick me up when I’m ready to leave. I am staying.

He was pissed.

I was feeling like a million bucks.

I will continue tomorrow to tell you how everything went.

xoxo

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