My friends, I thank you, for your emails and texts of concern. You know, living life as a BS it’s never changing yet all the same at the end of the day.
In other words, who knows what will come next.
My H claims to be distraught, torn apart, depressed, discouraged and fearful of what will come next. (Welcome, H, to my world). He claims my refusal to leave with him devastated him in ways he has never known before. He claims not to understand how could I ever doubt his love and faithfulness for me, from him.
Had I not spied on him, had I not seen his movements or heard some of them he very well could have had me suckered into his speech of undying love. But, I know. As I listened to him claim his faithfulness, I thought to myself, perhaps he is speaking in future terms, knowing that I, his “only love” was almost lost.
For now, I take the strength gained from our time apart, hold it under my belt and wait. Wait and gather. Gather money and time.
1 thought on “Checking in”
Stay strong. He’s a liar. If you know it you know it. His staunch commitment to the story just shows how much he thinks he has you under his thumb. Right now he is throwing the shame/self pity channels. Soon it will switch to rage. Righteous indignation that you would EVER doubt his sincerity and faithfulness, to try to scare you straight. I guarantee it’s coming. Gird your loins. You can be strong.
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