My friends, I thank you, for your emails and texts of concern. You know, living life as a BS it’s never changing yet all the same at the end of the day.
In other words, who knows what will come next.
My H claims to be distraught, torn apart, depressed, discouraged and fearful of what will come next. (Welcome, H, to my world). He claims my refusal to leave with him devastated him in ways he has never known before. He claims not to understand how could I ever doubt his love and faithfulness for me, from him.
Had I not spied on him, had I not seen his movements or heard some of them he very well could have had me suckered into his speech of undying love. But, I know. As I listened to him claim his faithfulness, I thought to myself, perhaps he is speaking in future terms, knowing that I, his “only love” was almost lost.
For now, I take the strength gained from our time apart, hold it under my belt and wait. Wait and gather. Gather money and time.