For the time that I’ve been gaslighted regarding My “crazy thought” and My H having an affair, every single piece of ahh Ha! evidence I come across can always have a possible explanation. Even though everyone involved is aware this could be “it”. Not this time.
Last night H needed to find a family member on FB to get information for a death, in need of memorial information. He made a big stink about having no idea how to find her and asked me to explain how to search. Unbeknownst to him, this is a red flag for me, it’s really him asking if I know how, he knows but is concerned whether or not I do.
After he went off to bed I checked his searches in FB and there it was. Lover name, not once but four times Thursday and Five times Friday, searched. The dumb ass didn’t even try spelling her name differently, he just kept typing her name.
He was asleep and I was blown away, finally, the evidence. We officially don’t even know these people, so it’s not as if he was searching for a mutual friend.
I took a screenshot, tried to write out a text to her for about an hour and then just went ahead, wrote an extremely long and rambling text to her. I didn’t use my real number, of course, I sent from a spoofed number. I am a coward, no balls, remember?
Well, that is exactly what I got back in text from both her and her husband. They wrote how they felt sorry for me, they thought I was on drugs but realized I needed help. They felt bad that I was some poor woman with no self-esteem and should seek counsel to get out of such a terrible relationship. Each sending their text separately.
She told me that I should get out of my shitty relationship with a man who apparently had no respect for me, that surely I would believe I deserve4 better. She wrote her address told me that even tho she has no idea who I am, she would be willing to help me and that If I sent her my H phone number she would be willing to speak with him as well.
Whats that saying , Fuck my life? Wow, takes my H lover, who is lying about being his lover to wake me to realize I have a poor self-esteem and in a shitty relationship.
I slept on the couch last night. I have not spoken to H he left for work early this morning. Surely H knows by now. I am not sure when or how, but I’ve got to do something. It’s going to be a challenge to figure out how to work. Beleive it or not, I have to stay through tomorrow for a stupid ass baby shower. Very long story why I can’t miss. I will say it has a lot to do with the fact I have no balls or courage in that area as well.
Thinking to go to work Monday to collect all the work I can, get the banking done. I will also need to fill some prescriptions. I’m fairly sure I will go to the vacation home to work from there; yes the home his GF and New husband live directly behind (ours).
I don’t know what I expected, it surely wasn’t sarcastic sympathy and disgust. I have no idea who the hell I am.