Life and Marriage- Do I stay or Do I leave/

Here it is, and here am I, looking as if I am crazy, but truly, I am NOT. My H and his lover(s) have, as usual, made it look as if the one who is being cheated on, the “innocent” to be the crazy one, isn’t it so typical?

I have read the stories and watched the “stories” as well, the innocent, they always come across as crazy and off the mark.

Later, maybe years later the innocent, the BS, or the “victim” is finally shown to be true, right, correct. Suddenly then, many want to stand up, get in the game and say that they too, were a part victim.


Eff you, victim(s).


I just re-read the text back to me, the “poor, low self-esteemed woman” whose H treated her like sh*t. LOL. The woman whose H abused her so. The OW who happened to be able to convince her friends and family that a crazy woman was accusing her of dreadful things. The text I received made me sick. Very Ill.

As she claimed her innocence, I understood that I should NOT have texted she or her BS. But it was not about convincing her spouse what she was up to. It was NOT about bullying her or begging her to “leave my man alone”. No. It was and IS about letting everyone involved that I KNOW. I KNOW what they are doing.

I fear to look or appear, whatever the grammatically correct saying be,  dumb/naive or TRUSTING, to people that do NOT deserve the trust of this young/old woman.


I KNOW. I KNOW every time you have an excuse to disappear from my presence, you are leaving to pick up or send off a text.


WHY- WHY – WHY- many texts ask…. WHY are you sticking around with this person.


Many reasons.  One being:


I have no effing idea why. I want concrete proof. so that I can feel rewarded.  “See I told you” reward.



$$$$$$$$$$$   The longer together the more $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$



I am weak, ball-less.




I have no effing Idea.


However, in the long run. You both know I know. I want you to be very sure that I know, I am not a dumb ass.  I know- I know- I know.

And, OUR, yes you, me and she, them, her, them and she…… creator, KNOWS. HE is very aware.


Enjoy that afterlife.

2 thoughts on “”

  1. They don’t care. They will justify it as Jesus cheaters. You were mentally unstable and he stayed because you needed him but their love was one which can’t be undone and helped him thoroughly and when you are really off the deep end and he has to divorce you to protect himself then he and she will find love in the most unexpected of places. This is what they tell themselves. It’s all rationalized. I get your reasons for staying.

    I care about you. What do you do for fun other than spy and be sad?


    1. I care about you. What do you do for fun other than spy and be sad? LOL This gave me a great laugh and in a good way.

      Really, I’m honestly not as sad and lonely as My writing appears. As you will read on my “About me” page, I am extremely dramatic. Of course I am sad, and there is a place of feeling extremely humiliated, for reasons I don’t speak of very often. I mean, here I am, Knowing my H is a cheater, but the OCD I have absolutely must have the appropriate “proof”. Proof that will give me great pleasure to show to my H, his lover(s?) and their S.O.

      For fun? I write, movies, hike, and believe it or not, I have a relationship with our creator, and am striving to grow stronger, spiritually.

      Writing, and the responses I receive are helping me to become stronger, in that, I might be okay with walking out as is, the current situation financially. Making sure money is set, and journals and entries needed all taken care of, after all… with all the times I’ve asked and he has denied, in my state (Physical State, not emotional) is an excellent case for emotional abuse and abandonment.

      Poor them.

      Thank you, sincerely for caring.

      Liked by 1 person

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