Please, may I have an ending to this hell, this humiliation and hell filled embarrassment. May I please, yes please, have result, ending, exposure along with some, some, some some information, concrete proof of what my “husband” is doing on his short, little jaunts, to the market. PLEASE?!
I am a middle child. Look that one up. The second of Three girls, the one who will do ANYTHING to keep the peace. That is why my beloved H, who loves me so, very, dearly, who makes sure his sweet, darling wife has “it all”, and is taken care of, so taken care of that she wants for nothing, is safe, comfortable and warm.
I know he loves me, he truly does care, he feels for me and know’s every single insecurity, he knows every single pain I feel, BUT this poor “man” has no idea HOW to love, care or care for. He wants to, but can’t, because he has no id ea HOW.
So, while being cheated on and lied to, this middle child feels sorry FOR, this man who has no idea how to love.
Wow – Just Wow. Think: my great grandchildren will have this history to think back on and know, they will know that all this money, all these material things, came from a couple. A couple who started off their marriage pregnant, only to lose that child they married for, in a stillborn death. Only to take on a blood child at 14 and her dear friend, an abandoned 14-year-old girl, to try and give these two, young women the love they, themselves, did not have.
Only to be “abandoned” 2 years later by these two, young girls, who ran because of the rules.
This woman, this 53-year old woman, who is currently raising two, amazing young women who ARE her children, while being betrayed by her H and the “others”, remain as faithful as possible, to who/what? As possible? Just Faithful. Never have I or would I humiliate him.
I don’t know.
I’m just thankful, that in IT all, I am a Christian, a daughter of the one and only Creator, I am She, who tries to make sense of it all, make sense of all the betrayal from past, present and more than likely, the future.
She, Me, I, will always RUN back to my Creator, because He, The Creator Alone, will always be my Rock, My Comfort, My Hiding Place. He, The Creator, will Always be my God, My Hope, My Desire.
So, readers, while once in a while I spout my foul-mouthed language, please know, I truly do have Hope, there are just days I need to spew, spew my anger, fear, and my confusion because I have yet to be rescued. Rescued from humiliation. Don’t worry, Creator, My Lord, He knows what I mean.
Until then…. I Go to the Rock