I will never get over the introductory statements from the newbies. it’s downright dreadful, seriously and painfully, depressing.
It makes me sad, desperate, is there a deeper word (?) for the newbies who join or club of the BS (Betrayed Spouse) Is there anything else to say?
Read the introductions, nearly all, most, begin with ” I never thought….” I would be writing”,” saying”,” confessing”, …. that my spouse cheated.
There is such a big part of me that want’s to grab the cheaters by the scruff of their neck ( okay, privates) and bring them to read the words of the betrayed.
But, here is reality:
They, the BSers don’t give a flying ….
Click here for the site that has saved my sanity
This, That, and Maybe More 
It is heartbreaking to read the posts. I joined that site in 2007 when I was hit by infidelity in my marriage. There was not much comfort there and even understanding as to what I was going through even though most there had gone through the same thing. After a few months I left.
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Newlease13, yes, I have seen the initial posts, indeed they are the same. As you stated before, most betrayed spouses who are bloggers have a lot in common.
Creativerational, I cannot stand the commercial reconciliation websites either. To me there is falseness in it.
So much have been written about infidelity and those who read enough of all the genres (including research) come to a similar conclusion.
I have found that when people are not ready, they cannot handle certain information and may even get somewhat snarky toward others. To prevent from “getting hurt more”, they stick to reading what they want to believe to be true, but if that information is biased I do not think it is helpful on the long term.
There seems to be a nearly predictable progression in healing of the self. I see that in those who heal.
In the end that is what is most important, the process toward healing.
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Surviving infidelity website… I get the stink eye just seeing the lavender backdrop. It is so… cozy for the folks who cheated. Can’t stand it there. I love chump lady, sometimes it’s way too much lady talk, it still makes me feel left out. I am an educated corporate employee and I love work. There’s such a high quantity of stay at home moms it still doesn’t alwayd fill my pot of support. But it’s better than the reconciliation websites that make me feel like I should feel guilty for…. putting out. Wanting sex. Keeping house, but still wanting reciprocity. Not thinking it’s acceptable to fuck others when you’re horny, or your ego needs a boost or you aren’t happy or you have FOO issues or you’re hurting or whatever. Frankly…. all those things apply to me just as much as they do to the spouse. But I didn’t act on them. I did try to get lucky with him. I tried to talk to him. I remember standing by the kitchen… loading the dishwasher, after making lunches after having made dinner and trying to talk to him and just breaking into tears and saying “why am I SO lonely when we are always together.” All I wanted was a companion. And he looked at me and said “I don’t know. This is what it is.” I should have known then. I should have just left, if that was life. If that was enough for him. A desperately lonely woman blindly packing his food for the workday, dying to be intimate, being ignored for every fucking backpage whore and or video game, having no god damn clue that she never ever ever was going to be enough. Ever. I’m nothing. I’m garbage. I don’t think I will ever feel not empty. That experience and the million others packed inside my heart are little hollow balloons of air that prevent anything real from taking up residence.
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