Life and Marriage- Do I stay or Do I leave/

My Story before it’s done

Do you believe in God? Because I do. Do you think that God cares about your marriage, your children? Do you think he cares where you live, go to school, work? cutting-hurtingI do. I believe he cares, I believe in God, AND I have a personal relationship with Jesus. So, some ask, why am I so unhappy, why is my life in a continuing state of angst?

There are many answers for that, and I am searching for mine. I’m willing to share mine with you just because it might help someone along the way, in addition to writing helps me to sort my thoughts.

Some of you are aware of my back story: Married to a person who loves to drink, not always and not every day, but when he does drink, he is lovin “it”.  For years, many years I cried out to God, wrote in journals and shared requests, that my husband would know the pain that his drinking could cause. I was miserable, poor me! I asked God to do whatever it took to bring us closer and make me love my husband like I should.

A few months later I was 98% positive my husband and just picked up and affair. And that, my friends, is where my story is still being written. I have over the several months asked him if he was cheating, demanded to know if he was cheating and begged him to tell me if he was cheating. Every time he said I was crazy and imagining things I would question myself. Well, not every time but many.  Now, I still do not have the proof, but I am very sure. Why am I still here? Why am I so sure?


steam-cup-coffeeHang out, let’s go through this together, bring your story if you’re going through this too, God Bless you if you are.

I am taking 31 days, yes, 31, to pray for this marriage, myself and my husband.  I’ve started many times and quit about day 8, convinced it won’t change. I’m on day 10 now and I’m going to the end.

This Book has inspired me like never before and I want you to be inspired as well.  These are NOT magic prayers, there is NO magic in this book, however, it will get you on track to pray and cry out to the true “fixer” of marriages, you won’t be sorry. This book will bring you right back to the Bible.

Listen though, friends. This blog is going to be real. There are days I’m discouraged, days I am furious and days I’m depressed. There are days I let God have it, because I’m real, I’m not perfect and never will be. I’m a Christian and I still hurt, I still doubt and I still grow angry.

Let me share a phrase that has stuck with me, and when I begin to doubt, I pray it, adding my own words:


Page 36     Hope For Your Marriage 31 War Room Prayers, Jennifer O. White


You are the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. Surely holding our marriage together is not too hard for You. I am looking to You as the Saviour of this marriage. I am boldly coming to Your throne asking for the stability and strength you have to offer us.

Isn’t that just WOW?


Stay here with me, I could use your support and your words. Leave a link to your blog, I’d love to do the same.

Thank you, Loving Creator, my Hope and now, My Strength.



2 thoughts on “My Story before it’s done”

  1. If you think he is and he is making you feel crazy… Its kindof normal. Gaslighting. God is important and so is your partners ability to stop being a sociopath. Sorry you’re dealing with this.


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