Life and Marriage- Do I stay or Do I leave/

Why not me?

I read your blogs, nearly all of you speak of that dreadful  D-day, the pain, suffering, shock, and rage you experience. You speak of the tears, tantrums and “T-Truths. I long to be in your shoes. I long for a D-day, I wish I could have the tears and T-Truths.

Instead, I am handed denials, the shock I get in my relationship is shock from H, how could I think such a thing of him?! I get the standard Wayward spouse response, “I wish I could get it up as much as you think of me”, with laughter, fake laughter. I get the ” What happened to you, when did you become so insecure?” All the other gas-lighting lies that Wayward spouses spout.

As I’ve shared often, my H is a golden-child, one who got away with anything and everything. Me? I’m still handing him “Golden-Child Land”.

Courtesy of – Me, the BS.

 

Please, readers, if you could hear my tone you would know I’m not whining. “Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me” Its a joke for crying out loud.

 

Be Well,

 

13 thoughts on “Why not me?”

  1. Did you use a voice recorder on him in his car? Is that what you meant when you said you were busted on them? I’ve actually considered putting one in his car under the back seat. Wondered if it would work?

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    1. Yes, I used a voice recorder. It is a little stick, looks like a flash drive (Amazon look up voice recorder/flash drive ) I figured if he found it he would think I dropped it by accident in his truck at some point . It worked for a while. He found it once, I was oh, so thankful, looking for that, it’s got our Quickbooks on it! He found it the second time and plugged it in, I think he assumed it was a gps. He never mentioned it to me. I tried again a few months later and heard him telling a friend about it. Now, he just turns the music up. I got the idea from the forum I visit (they are full of help and ideas). Many people catch their spouses on the phone this way. Of course, not me, he is pretty good at this I guess. I’ve got a PI on retainer now, we’ll see what happens.

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      1. Did you just stick it under the seat or tape it under? Did you hear him talking on it? Thanks in advance. I need to get a new email so I can go on that other site. If you get a chance, read what I wrote to both of you on betrayed bitch page.

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  2. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be. I thought I would have the last laugh. I knew most of what was happening from phone bills but wanted to prove it… (this is why I really understand what you’re dealing with) I played happy house wife for 8 months trying to make sure I was going to be able to walk away ready. And in a fight he took my phone, broke into it and read messages to my best friend. He was certain since I spent the weekend with her recently he would find news of us having a torrid affair, and instead found messages of her supporting me and letting me know that soon I could get out. Cheaters assume everyone are cheaters so what they are doing isn’t so bad. He didn’t even really fathom that I was staying with her because I wanted to be away, or That i knew. He was certain I was off eating pussy because that was what he did when he could. I’m sorry you also need this ‘proof’. Have you thought about a forensic accountant? What constitutes proof? Visual? Texts?

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    1. Oh, that is the crazy thing. I move all the money. He has no idea what is going on. He gets his cash for the month to spend (A lot) but usually that goes in the safe, or he buys himself whatever his newest hobby is at the time.

      I’ve been busted with Voice recorders in his truck, gps (on his phone) he took his phone to the store because the battery was draining so fast and they showed him someone was tracking him on find my phone. (LOL) I just played the game he does, told him I had no idea what he was talking about and if I was following him, wouldn’t I have proof he WASN’T cheating? Ha, should have seen his face on that one. Because, that is how I knew he wasn’t where he was saying he was. Never hotels or anything like that.

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  3. I’m just curious on how your husband treats you now? Does he act loving, like he wants to be with you? Does he not want you talking about the past?

    Mine all came out in Dec. of 2015. He confessed nothing. He got a work text from her that was professional on a Sat. Night. I had his phone and thought it odd. He had completely lost his cool earlier in the week with one of our sons and I knew then something was seriously wrong.

    Four days later the text came and lots of things began to unfold.

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    1. He has always treated me decently. However, there are times I won’t back down, or one small detail spills and I back him into a corner and he becomes unglued! We yell, scream, I walk out of the house, tell him he can have everything, I don’t need it or the company. He calls, texts, tells me to come back, tells me nothing happened, blah blah blah

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